Friends By Chance, Sisters by Choice!

As I get older, I think a lot about my friendships. I’ve pondered what makes a good friend. Why did I choose the friends I have? The insecure part of me questions why they chose me as a friend. Over the years I have lost friends and gained some fantastic new ones. It is just par for the course. Out with the old and in with the new, I suppose. One thing that I know for certain is that I have cherished all my friendships both past and present; and given them my all. When it comes to friendship, I go all in.

Everyone has that one friend. They always have your back and they know you better than you know yourself. They tell you what you need to hear, and not what you want to hear. They come into your life abruptly, and they never leave. They aren’t just friends; they are family.

I don’t have one friend like that. I have two. I am doubly blessed to call two of the most beautiful women in the world my best friends. They aren’t just beautiful women; they are both absolutely gorgeous. Their genuine beauty lies on the inside. Cliché, I know, but it is the absolute truth. They have enormous hearts and would do anything for the people they care about. They are so kind and nurturing, both amazing mothers. They make me want to be a better person every day. They also remind me of the kind of mother I want to be. They are both raising amazing kids that are as precious to me as their mommies are. They are excellent role models for my children, especially my daughter (who loves them nearly as much as I do).

I have had a lot of friends throughout my life. Some who I thought of as best friends (or very close friends), but unfortunately for whatever reason we grew apart. We all got older, and often life got in the way. Some got what they needed from me and moved on. Others didn’t have small kids at home, and when my ability to go out and party disappeared, so did they. Not all of my friendships over the years have come to complete ends, some just became acquaintances. A birthday message on Facebook, a Christmas card, or a random text lets us know the other person is still around. Sometimes I hope to kick start the friendship that was once so important to me, even when I know it wasn’t important to the other person. I try not to let it bother me, but sometimes it stings. I take it personally, even when I don’t want to.

That is the difference with my two best friends. Even when they both lived out of state we remained close. After years of friendship, we have had minor disagreements (all family bickers), but we have never had a major fight. They have never betrayed me, and I have never betrayed them. At least I hope they have never felt betrayed by me. These two strong women have endured so much loss in their lives, yet they never lost themselves. They have faced grief and trauma head-on, and they came out the other side stronger. We have been through breakups and losing parents. I have held their hands through it all and they have held me up in return. Even with all the tears, there have been a million more laughs. I had the honor of standing with them as their Maid of Honor on their wedding days. Of course, they both stood with me as well. I could have never married without them both there. I was in the room when one of them gave birth, and they both would have been in the delivery room with me, had I not had c-sections. They have literally been there for almost every adult milestone.  My son is so lucky to have them as his Godmothers. But it goes way beyond that. Most people cannot say that they have been best friends for their whole life. I can! These ladies came into my life at very different times and in very special ways.

When I was two years old, my mom took a job in a flower shop. Her boss, who would eventually become her best friend, had a daughter my age. Well, not quite my age, she is a whole six months older than me (which is very important now that we are older)! We grew up doing nearly everything together. We took dance, swimming, and ice skating lessons together. Full disclosure, we sort of took ice skating. If hiding behind the lockers and eating snacks during the lesson counts, then we definitely took ice skating lessons. We had so many sleepovers, where we put on fantastic shows or presented fabulous art made from junk. We took lots of road trips and sang along to the same song by Chicago over and over. After watching the movie Mannequin one too many times, we thought we had found our calling. We ate pickles until we were sick. We went on walks “collecting” the most beautiful rocks. We even found an interesting way to dispose of cookies we didn’t want to eat. Almost every memory of my childhood includes her. Most of my favorite adult memories include her, too. She is the mother of three wonderful boys that I am proud to call my nephews. She makes being a “Boy  Mom” look like a breeze. Her boys are three of the sweetest little gentleman I have ever met. They are genuine reflections of her. Her best traits have been passed on to them. Her boys are some of the luckiest children in the world. Not only is she an exceptional mom, but she spent her life following her dreams. Yet another thing she makes look easy. Her commitment to her craft helps keep me focused on my own. Reminding me to keep writing, even when I do not get the results I want.  As kids, we bickered here and there, but we always had each other’s backs. Sadly, I do not remember the day we met; but the beauty of it is, I don’t remember a day that she wasn’t in my life. 40 years later and she still makes me laugh non-stop.  40 years of friendship has made us more than best friends. We are sisters.

Now my other sister I haven’t known for 40 years, but I have known her for more than half of my life. On our first day of freshman year, two girls ended up in the same homeroom. We also had the other six classes together. We had no choice but to be friends. The Universe threw us together. Okay,
maybe it was school admins! Whoever it was I am eternally grateful that she was put in my life. When I changed schools, there was no way I was doing it without her. So what did we do? We convinced her parents it was the best idea in the world. We were right! While we had great times at our first school, all of my best high school memories involved her at the second school. After high school, we remained close. We went to so many parties and clubs. I mean a lot of clubs. We were V.I.P. (at least in our minds), but we were definitely V.I.B. (very important bitches). She became a mother before me and I am in awe of the mother she is. She embraced motherhood and raised amazing girls. One who has grown to be one of the most AMAZING women I have ever met. She is everything I could hope my daughter grows up to be. She is strong, compassionate, intelligent, and brave.  All traits she got from her beautiful mother. I have had the pleasure of watching her grow from newborn to this amazing woman. I take so much pride in it. Not because I had anything to do with it, but because I can say that my best friend did that. When I look at her, I see my best friend. I see everything that I love about her encompassed into another human being.

I could go on about these two AMAZING women forever. They are the world’s best friends, amazing mothers, and just fantastic humans. I do not know where I would be in my life without them. No two people outside of my family have been there for me more than they have. I am who I am today because of them. There is no way I could ever pay them back for all they have given me in my life. The constant love, laughter, and support they have given me is unbelievable. I am so thankful that our paths crossed so many years ago. I hate to think who I would have turned out to be without their influence.

While I may not remember or understand the dynamics that brought us together, I thank God every day for giving them to me.  I cherish them so much and hope that I have given them at least half of what they have given to me.

Over time, friendships change; but genuine friendships will weather every storm and last forever.Over time, friendships change; but genuine friendships will weather every storm and last forever.